So you’re 20-something and don’t know who you wanna be?

So you don’t know who you are, what you’re supposed to be doing, or what kind of job you want to have?

A few weeks ago, I had another one of those famous Gen Z quarter-life crises where I sobbed and cried and cried and sobbed about having no flipping idea what I was doing with my life. And I am sure NO ONE can relate. Right?? I’m the ONLY 23-year-old who has ever questioned anything EVER…

So, my loving and unconditionally supportive boyfriend suggested I write about it. Seeing that I’ve been writing my thoughts down since I was 8 years old, he thought it’d be the best way to express how I feel and maybe I’d find some relief knowing that I am not the only one feeling this way. 

Since I graduated in the winter of 2021 I have successfully worked 4 part-time minimum-wage jobs, coached high school soccer and third-grade basketball, gone back to school to take night classes, signed up for online midwifery classes ( I now have little intention of finishing), moved home into my childhood bedroom, ran around Europe for 6 weeks, attended a 3-day long Polish wedding, gone on many mini adventures to New Mexico, Boston, and Hawaii, quit my first full-time job after 9 months with no direction or plan, started working as a private chef with ZERO experience, and contemplated the entire purpose of human existence (not to be dramatic). 

Two years ago, if you had asked what my plans were, I would have told you I was going to be a Nurse Midwife. Today, I am not sure what I will be. All my life, I have had one true love. A love that has grown with me, changed with the seasons of life, and has flourished in the most recent years. My love for food and being in the kitchen. 

I started an Instagram account in April 2020 as part of a senior year project for my major. With some heavy encouragement from friends, I continued to use my page to share my love for food and cooking. Flash forward 3 years, I am still posting about falling in love with cooking. Here’s what I’ve learned: I don’t think anyone has it figured out. Even the peeps who act like they do. THEY DO NOT! And I’m finally starting to be ok with that because I don’t think life is about figuring it out. Life is about the process and journey we go on while we figure it out. All we can do is take one step in a direction every day, learn from our mistakes and our triumphs, and be a good person. All we can do is try.

So if that is too simplified an answer for you, I am sorry. But know that the person you continue to compare yourself to, that person who seems to have all their shit together, chances are they are probably thinking the same thing about you and feeling the same way about their life. And guess what? It’s ok not to have all the answers all at once.

written on 08/01/2023